I think I'm beginning to understand- not necessarily live- but understand the lives of long term missionaries. With short term teams, you are constantly on the go. Wanting to do everything and experience everything you can in the short two weeks that you are there. However that's not the case for long termers, and my first few days I have found myself feeling like, ' Should I be doing more?'. I'm beginning to learn now that my role here in this month is to minister through the building of relationships and trust within the villages. Through my teaching, and tutoring. Through the time that I am spending with children and families in the village. And that takes time. It isn't something that can be rushed, and that I can call complete if I spend an hour with these people each morning.
I need to begin and learn how to understand the people and the culture before I can really build relationships. I need to let the Lord be at work before me, and allow him to be softening the hearts of those I am ministering to. What's intersting to me, as I read through Crazy Love by Francis Chan, is the fact that the disciples were first CALLED christians at Antioch. They didn't name themselves Christians, but instead those watching their lives, and they ways that they were living for Christ deemed them to be Christians. Isn't that exactly what I need to be made known here first? How can I call myself a follower of Christ and try to minister to people if it isn't already evident to them that I know the Lord? A challenging question for sure.
This morning had its ups and downs for me. One of my favorite boys ( I know I say this alot, but I have a large group of favorities) who had been sick for three days last week and had missed school was finally back this morning. Every morning I wait outside the fence of the school as they come through the gate and walk towards me. The smiles on their faces seriously make my day. For the past two weeks we have joked about this boy having no emotion, and therefore have called him Emotionless boy, also because he doesn't speak. Usually I can get a small smile out of him the first look I get in the morning, but that's usually it. This morning though, when I finally found him, his face lite up with a huge smile and it never went away. It was a moment of maybe him thinking that I had left, and a realization for me that I actually was going to have to leave him behind sometime soon.
The negative side of this morning, was watching the children be disciplined. I do understand that discipline is more strict, and violent here, but watching the kids be beaten for no reason, or certainly no reason that I found was necessarily, was really hard for me this morning. It didn't seem to phase most of the kids however, and maybe that's what worries me the most.
This afternoon of teaching went great. I love getting to know more and more students everyday. I spent some time tutoring a small group of students before class in the church. It is amazing to me how much creole I have picked up and am able to remember and use. SO thankful for that haha. Spent some time out walking in the community tonight, farther from the village and closer to the center of town. It is so fun seeing where my students live and hearing my name being called even so far away from our house. The Lord is definitely using Haiti Arise in big ways in Grand Goave.
Until tomorrow, Bon Nwit!